Karlis Salna Infant of the Year

His pram trumbled home marginally ahead of the luckless Richard Pembroke - The Bees Knees Authoritarian Dictatorship of International Infants, but Andrew's constant wailing he had proved posters wrong simply by wailing that he had, without ever providing a scrap of evidence, except that which served to prove himself wrong, coupled with his persistence in asking precisely the same questions day after Groundhog Day because they were not answered the way he wanted them to be (even tottering after Peter FitzSimons onto other boards for the purpose, tail-wagging, yap-yapping), gave him the edge. Spat the dummy, soiled his nappies and threw his toys out of the cot whenever it was pointed out to him that his tiny island did not lie directly at the centre of the universe. Scoffed at predictions that were later proved accurate, only to lie through his gums about it rather than admit that for all his pomposity and vindictive bitching, he had been shown up as an ignorant bantling once again. Perceived his immature role as one of "cleverness." No matter how often he humiliated himself in argument, always managed to perceive himself as the victor; he who sees afar in the darkness, so that he never learnt a thing. Fitting this award should reside in his kindergarten homeland.